Thank you…

Very well spoken/written Rene’…
These losses are dificult to form thoughts about, and even more difficult to write about, because there is literally nothing to write about. It’s like trying to write about a fall… yes it happened, but sometimes there is no clear reason why.
In all of Life’s Journey, I find that five people have turned out to be True Friends… can be asked anything, and will respond as well as their resources allow, listen, and have proven the capacity to accept, understand, overlook, forgive, and ask right back with no "balance sheet" implied. Family is not included, as they are… well… Family.
Five… in a Lifetime… I am Blessed.
GodSpeed to Y’all…!
Gary
in Tampa

Thank you so much for that. Those are healing words for me. It’s been several years now, but I’m still grieving over a friendship I never thought would end. I could really relate to your story!

This has happened with a family member to me and the " not knowing what I did " has been driving me crazy. Thank you
for this article- it has helped me put it in perspective.

I have been blessed with such a good friend, that my own daughter will call her even when she is down or has a question. That is a testimony to how true this friendship is. She will answer my daughter honestly and will keep her confidence if asked. That makes me respect her even more. I could not ask for anyone better to give advice or just listen to me or my daughter. I have however experienced hurt from a friend before and never want to experience it again.

Thank you so very much,,,I recently put my foot in my mouth and in doing so may have hurt a very dear lady….something I would never have done if my mouth had not been in gear.
I think I need to heed your advice and send her an apology, long over due.
Thank you so very much for getting my brain in the right direction.
hugz to you,
>^..^<

Gracie~ You know I love you with ever fiber of my being~ as does most people that get to know you up close and personal… You will, as always, make it right…

Boy, I thought I was the only one who had this experience. I had a friend all through high school, through marriage and children and then one spring decided she was done being my friend. We had a disagreement, yes we did, but over all that time we spend together she had decided she was done. What hurt the most is she went to other "friends" and told them and talked about it before she even actually talked to me. She new this would hurt me because I am a private person and believe in solving conflict rather than feeding off it. I don’t like gossip either. It did take a long time and still stings every once in awhile. But, like you I have accepted ME. This is ME and this is the way I am. If I can’t fit into her mold then we don’t need each other. I am much happier with myself since I have discovered ME. I still see her and when I do we make plans to get together but that never seems to pan out. But, maybe that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Thanks for the post. It makes me feel "normal"!

Jill~  Well I have never been accused of being "normal", but at least you arent alone LOL

Has this ever hit home with me. I lost contact with all my friends from high school due to constant moving. In February, I noticed a classmate on Classmates.com. As this is the 40th year after graduation, I sent an email to her. We were the last graduating class of a small Catholic High School in Cleveland. There were only 95 of us. I asked if she knew of anyone was planning a 40th reunion. Well . . .through her efforts, it’s going to happen. The response has been great. I may not be able to attend due to health reasons, but I have renewed friendships that I thought were forever lost. I’ve also learned a lot about myself, how much I’ve changed over the years, and that my adventures in life are quite unique. Most ask, "What are you doing in Idaho?" My answer is complex but it boils down to loving a simpler life and being out of the race called "rat". All it took was an email. I dance!!

Rene,
Wow, I had to realize this recently, not just with friends, but with acquaintances or people at church or other walks of life. "I am Me, who God made ME, I’m sorry if that doesn’t live up to your expectations." is what I have to tell myself so often.
I have a BEST friend. But to describe her, I tell people she is my sister. I choose sister because we have so many areas that we are different, but we are still friends because we respect each other’s differences and we have been through so much together and still love each other. We were roommates in college, were in each others weddings, attending the births of each other’s childrens, and my children call her Aunt Peggy and I’m Aunt Carol. To me, that is is the best friendship anyone can have.

Hi
Thanks for the support.
I’ve been reading your posts, and I’m thinking about what I’ve learned as people have come and gone in my life. I agree that all we can do is be the best us we know how to, live in such a way you can sleep at night, face God. And the rest we have to let go. We can’t control another. I’ve seen people make what I think are strange and tragic decision in their relationships, and it seems they felt entitled or were self-protective in some way. No matter, it never made sense, and their was pain in the wake. They are the ones who lose the most.
My own story involves my dad. He seemed to like me less and less as I got older. I tried to get him to like me, it just never happened. We had never had words, so there was not an event I could point to. Our relationship just started downhill and never recovered. I really don’t know what happened. He died over 20 years ago, and it was never resolved. It took me a long time to realize and say it was his loss, and take the blame off me. You know that prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. that works for me.
Linda

Thanks Linda~

The loss of a parent either through death of through choice is a painful event for sure. I have had to remind myself, that "people cannot give, what they dont have". Often times we want people to give us what we need ~ knowing full well they don’t have it to give…and that is sad for them.

Thank you this has helped, I like that saying. Two of my best friends since grade school stopped talking to me in 2006, we graduated from school in 1984 that is how long we have been friends. Even with my moving around the state to other states and back. To this day I do not know what happened. It was Labor day weekend and we all said see each other Monday. Monday came around and one friend didn’t show up, we called and called and called, stopped by her place no answer. Me and one friend kept in contact all through the rest of that year into the holidays. January 2007 came along and both of my friends went a way for a weekend. And after that I lost contact with both of them. I called the one friend, lets call her "Lara" by phone most of that year, but only by phone, could never get out of her what happened, why wasn’t we will call this friend "Debra", she talking to me, what did I do? She wouldn’t say. Finally Lara stopped talking to me. A year ago I ran into Debra, and she had this surpise look on her face, and I just cooly said to her, "hi, how you doing?, I see you are driving a different car now", and asked if she still worked at the same place. She answered me, didn’t ask me one question about how I was doing, got into her car and left. We all use to go to the same laundry mat, they both stopped going to it. Lara use to have bbq’s were she invited both of us to, she don’t invite me. Debra even has moved, and her own sister don’t know were she moved to. Another friend we all have in common since 2006 has her one brother die, and her dad die and had heart attack and neither one would go to the funerals or know about her having a heart attack. They have not just stoped being friends with me, but with her and Debra hasn’t seen her sister since 2006, and they both lived in the same town, well use to, like I said Debra moved.
I think it bothers me more is Lara, she knows what happened and sided with Debra, and I am still in the dark in what happened. But once again thank you for that saying, it does really help.

Thank you. This brought tears to my eyes. I had a friendship like that. In fact, I met her when I was 15. I am almost 30 now, and a couple of years ago, it was heart breaking. It was just like that. But this helped tremendously… you won’t realize how many people you helped with that little healing salve. It’s very hard to get over. In fact, I may never quite get over it…well, maybe I will, but that did some help. Thanks so much, Rene.

Rene,
A friend who’s never wanted for anything recently called and asked how much she should be spending on groceries. With the bottoming out of the construction field last year, her husband had not had work for some time.
I grew up watching my mom stretch the pennies and told my daughter, "I will never complain again. I think it is much easier living a life of ‘making do’ than it is having to learn how out of necessity."
My husband is currently out of work. I’m a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom. I thank God he has taught us that it’s not how much money you make, it’s what you do with what you have.
One more line…before you go out and buy something ask yourself, "What do I have in my hand?" meaning what can I use that will suit the purpose.
Blessings,
Carol

Carol,

You and many others of us have had to really re-think our priorities. I am thankful that we as "farmgirls" have taken the time to really grasp this attitude of "making do" or do without. I hope too that we always are willing to give a hand out to help someone with a hand up. These times that we are in will define and refine all of us, one way of another..

Best of wishes to your hubby as he searches for ways to keep the family finances coming in. I believe in abundance, but often times it just takes a more creative thinking then some are conditioned for. Please keep me updated on your progress. You can always email me at Rene@MaryJanesFarm.org

My daughter graduated from college in 2003, then went to Poland to teach. Many of the people in the areas that she lived were still familiar with the "communist" rule and lived on basic necessities. She learned while at home to be frugal (living on a budget, staying debt-free, etc), but she really learned even more "thankfulness" from these people. It has been amazing and wonderful to see her growth. She doesn’t consider the latest fads and fashions. She decides if something is a necessity, functional, and has quality. My Mom was the same, and always creative. I have returned to my roots through my daughter.

We take so much for granted dont we? Blessings to your daughter, few young people would take such a courageous route.

Postitive words are affirming and can change an outlook or an insight. Brilliant (couldn’t resist!)post! I enjoy writing notes to friends and try to do it often, even sending a handmade card to show them they are thought of with warmth.
Thanks for your words today!

I’m always amazed at how others perceive us. Since HS when my sister told me that my siblings called me "Queenie" behind my back. I was shocked and hurt. I was introverted, shy, not Aloof…why would they think that?
Over the years I have tried to be more open, more connected to people to be a friend, and recognize the positive in everyone. I try to be open to those that may be left out, because they are shy and possibly not "look at me" people. I have found new friends through my local Farmgirls Chapter, and love every single one, because they are my sisters. I’ll try to remember this for our Holiday Party. It will be so much more meaningful than a $10 gift.

Cynthia,

I think there will always be those that can’t or won’t see us for who we are. I am not sure if that is there issue or ours. I run into every now and again too. It is perplexing. I have come to believe that I can just be the best I know to be and let the rest be.  We are blessed to have so many amazing farmgirls sisters arent we? I would choose words from the heart over a $10 gift any day 🙂

I too love the hand-written word. Over the years, as my three sons grew, I wrote them love letters and love notes. Some letters were written because I felt they needed an extra boost of love, some because they passed an important mile stone. How fun it was to see them steal away to some private, quiet spot to see what I had written, what memories I would retell of their youth that I treasured. I do this for friends too, especially when life has been difficult or hard. I write love letters telling them how much their friendship means to me and IN DETAIL I describe what I love about them or why they are one of my personal heros or what lessons in life they may have taught me. The usual response is that it took their breath away because they had no idea that they could be viewed in such a way. The fact that I could recall something from when they were twenty or thirty for example, that I remembered their triumphs or was enchanted by some action of theirs THAT they had totally forgotten about, served to remind them of how special and capable they still are.
My mother wrote all her children love letters when she knew she was dying, to be opened after her death. She always told us she loved us, but oh .. how dear to be able to read her words over and over again. Best gift I have ever received!

I would like to forward this to a friend that I have not spoken to in two months all because of some words spoken in the negative. She so very negative and I don’t know why. She has a lot of good quality she could think about. If I forward this to her she might take it the wrong way. What do you think?

Hi Jean,

Hope you received my email. How are things with your friend?

I remember a sermon of my favorite pastor’s from quite a while back, in which he told a story of a man who went around gossiping unkind words about another person in their town. After a while, the man felt bad, so he finally went to his priest and confessed what he did. For his penance, the priest told the man to take dried leaves and place them on the front stoop of each doorway in the town. After he was done placing the last of the leaves at the last house, the man was to go back to the very first house and begin collecting all of the leaves from each of the houses, and bring them to his priest in a bag to show the priest he had done his penance. But, when the man went back to the first house, all of the leaves had blown away! It was the same at each house he went back to: all of the leaves were gone! He went to his priest and told him what happened, and apologized to him that he could not get the leaves back. His priest said to him, "You see my son, these leaves are like cruel and thoughtlessly spoken words. Once said, you are not able to retrieve them. Only an apology to the person you have injured can give you true relief, and God will know you are truly sorry… God always forgives those who asks."

My husband and I have taught our children that what they do always has an affect on others, in some way or other. And what they say has an affect on others as well; not only the words, but how those words are spoken. I was taught this from a very young age, and have always been reflective prior to speaking, most especially when talking about sensitive topics, or to a sensitive individual.

For this, I was recently rewarded (to my astonishment!), when someone who worked for me told me that I had changed the way she lives her life (and that her husband was so grateful for this as well)… she said she had observed how I contemplate what I say prior to speaking, and she has put this into practice and found herself much more peaceful and harmonious with others. This truly humbled me…

So, yes, words are powerful tools! And they can be amazing! And we should use them for wonderful purposes…

God Bless,
Sandy

Rene’, You really struck a chord with several of us—loved all of your comments. There
still is nothing better than a letter from my mom in the mailbox. As she ages, I am thinking I should start saving them. One more thing about "words". I love making pins for
my friends and coworkers–usually for Valentine’s Day. Last year I used magnetic words from the refrigerator poetry kits mounted on colored cardstock with a gluegunned pin on the back and let each pick one from a huge collection of words. It was so interesting to see who picked each one–depending on their personality or mood that day. Lots of jokes were abound with each trying to pick some for others too. The way we see ourselves is usually so different from the way others do. Bonnie

Thank you for reminding me today about the power of words. One of our beloved ministers always said, "You may be the only smile a person has today." I think that applies well to what you wrote about the words we have for others today.

Mariellan

What perfect timing…I am having trouble in my place of business right now. Two of my employees went at it during a group meeting. Harsh words, hurt feelings, misdirected anger. I asked them to work it out between themselves (this didn’t happen), I asked for them to apologize, one refused, and the tension is quietly building. I think I will post words, thoughts, positive encouragement in the lunch room, maybe the walls will come down. I am very concerned about the moral of the others, as well as the possibility of asking someone that has been with me for 8 years to please leave.
If you have any word suggestions, words with hope, please pass them on…..
Thank you for the inspiration, this is just what these two need!
LisaLu

Thank you for your understanding. You hit it right on the mark! I’ll get to work on this right away! Thanks again sister!
LisaLu

What a great idea for a farmgirl meet up! Thanks for the powerful blog and idea for our monthly meetup project..We’ll do that project in Oct. Thank you! Thank You!

It is a truly fortunate thing to have come across the Amish funeral. These experiences are a gift. A small glimpse into a different life indeed a reverent glimpse. These things always make me feel as though my eyes have been opened again and I feel better for it. Seeing that others live differently and well in their own way with conviction and dedication something I sometimes lack.

Thank you for such lovely thoughts, maybe if we could see thru a child’s heart and eyes or better yet the Lord’s heart and eyes we would have a peace and knowing that all is well with whom love. God Bless Kristen
P.S. I am very happy for you to spend the time to see the world around.

when we went to Lancaster PA with a Amish tour service, we were fortunate to see all the "buggies" gathered at a home for Sunday Services, we also went to a working Amish farm where things were run by a generator, no phones, or mirrors. We also went to an Amish country restaurant where seven sweets and seven sours were offered. Their Chicken Corn Chowder was very tasty . We went to a Amish store where there were quilts, wooden kitchenware, jams, jellies etc. They had a farmers market also. We saw the scene from "The Witness", and the phone booth. This was one of the most memorable trips we have taken, I would not hesitate to go back again.

Dear Rene: The Amish are so full of grace and caring. I had the privilege of living amongst them for several years in Pennsylvania many years ago. I tried to imagine what that funeral scene was like–I know you will never forget it, ever. I learned some wonderful things from them about cooking, housekeeping, gardening, crafts/sewing, faith, and living.
I loved the photo of you and Linda in the old cast iron tub. I have 3 of them tucked away in my back yard, mostly out of sight. They came from some old houses we owned years ago. I’d love to do something creative with them in my garden. Does anyone have any good ideas for what to do with them outside? Thanks and I am enjoying your blog–I am new to it.

MaryJane has her tubs set up with propane heaters for outside bathing~ there is nothing better… You can check in her outpost book for directions~  I love it~

Rene: I have lived all over Texas. Many times I have lived near the Amish. I admired them from afar. They seem to be such gentle people. I would imagine they NEVER disagree or have children that are stubborn. How uncomplicated their lives must be without television, cell phones, computers, vehicles that are unreliable at times. We take so much for granted in our lives. My husband and I often feel we were born 100 years too late. Today, with the economy as it is and our future cloudy, we should all return to a simpler life, be grateful for what we have and learn to do without. The Amish have survived hundreds of years, we can’t we?

Hey Rene-

Totally agree with you! It is part of the reason I don’t email all that much because I am a diehard letter writer! I write them to my kids, to my long distance friends, and to anyone on my heart. I don’t write as much as I did when I was young, but I still make time for it. I think that "penpals" are still the bestest!

I have hung on to letters between girlfriends and me since highschool. I love to open them up and read them over and go back in time with the words…such a pleasure!

One of my old highschool friends still writes to me regularly, so we enjoy our long distant (she is in TX, me in NY)relationship in the same way we always have even though we both have email. It is just something very special to both of us.

Carrie

I too wrote letters to my son when he was an infant and put them in envelopes for him to open somwday when he is older. When I send cards for birthdays or other occasions I take the time to write in the card rather than just signing it. I also send a letter about every month or so to my husbands grandma who lives very far away in another state, I hope it brightens her day to receive the letters in the mail. While I love and will not give up emails, I try to incorporate hand written letters into my correspondence on a regular basis. I too love receiving hand written letters in the mail and still am thrilled each time.

I have 2 daughters that i keep personal journals for. I write different things in each of their journals whether i am writing about how proud i am of something they have done or sympathizing with broken hearts. These are journals they will get when I pass on. I write about my childhood in these journals-about funny things i did, how their grandmother danced like a ballerina while listening to classical music. It is a hodge-podge of insight into things we might not ever bring up. This is my letter writing to my girls. Perhaps they will have wanted to know or hear these things in person but time and distance often make this difficult. This way it is in Hard Copy and they can read it over and over again in my handwriting.

Ginnevere,

What a precious, precious gift second only to you being present in their lives I am sure….What blessings they will be.

I sat back and sighed after reading your thoughts on letter writing…..I SO agree!!
What I wouldn’t give to find a handwritten letter from one of my late grandparents or a long lost relative!
How I cherish the deeply moving letters my late husband wrote to me…
And I can’t tell you how meaningful my 4 year old Grandson’s hand written name and mine, "Granny" are when he hands me that piece of paper.
I am convinced that just about everyone loves to get a handwritten note….written especially written for them….
let’s not stop!
Thanks again for shaing your thoughts!

Donna

Beautifully written Donna…. Takes us all back, doesnt it?

Thank you, Rene, for the reminder that people are still connected by emotions, sometimes expressed through loopy penmanship, a spritz of perfume or pretty stationery. Like you, I miss finding something other than bills or junk mail in the mailbox, although it’s still nice place to strike up a conversation with neighbors! The death of handwritten letters is a sad reminder that my mom and mother-in-law are both gone now. The handwritten letters they sent me through the years are treasured all the more, but your blog is a timely reminder that they are not the exclusive domain of generations past.

Hey Nancy,

I refuse to beleive that it is "dead".. rather more… needs a little shot of Vitamin B………….LOL, Let’s bring it back… shall we..

I love letters, and I agree it’s a sad thing to see them go! I still write my best friend in N. Idaho as she doesn’t have running water, let alone internet!

It’s such a joy to see her handwriting on the envelope when I take the mail from the box on my way in the house after work. Almost makes those darn bills less painful!

I would LOVE to hear from other farm girls. I would like to see pictures of your farm and your critters.
Ruthann Wilkens
15034 St. Marys Rd.
Brookville In.
47012
Hope to hear from you girls.
Ruthann

I love writing letter and collecting stationary and notepaper. I am old enough to remember when part of your personal household stuff was great writing paper, notecards, etc. I am lucky because my daughter is currently living overseas so I still enjoy the weekly newsy family letter that I mail off to her.

I, too, write letters. Every Friday morning I write to my three granddaughters. Yes, they all live in the same house but still they get their "own" letter. My daughter has told me that they wear the letters out, opening them, unfolding and then putting them back into the envelope. She and her husband read them aloud again and again. Soon the middle one will be able to read for herself. The oldest informed me one day that she could read cursive, that was a big day for me. She went from being Lizzie to Liz this year, another step. I find them in the toy box, under the bed and being used as a bookmark (a trick she learned from me) but I know they are well read and keeping in contact with them is the most important part.
I also keep in contact with my best friend from high school in our annual letter. We email and talk on the phone but the letter in her Christmas card means so much to me, I hope we never stop.
I never get over the thrill of opening the mailbox to find actual handwriting, then to hurry up the driveway to read my letter. Have a wonderful afternoon.

God moves in mysterious ways……our youngest adopted son has been out of touch with the family for many months and we have determined as a family to try to reach him through letters. Your timely typing on the subject of letter writing spurs me on to write to him and others. Thanks!!! I’m so glad I surfed my way to Mary Jane’s site not long ago. I feel blessed by the community sharing, reminding me of my rich, rural, roots, and the importance of nurturing relationships I believe my loving Creator enables me to have.

I still get excited to pick out stationary that represents my mood or season and to grab my favorite pen (usually a colored gel)to send off a note to friends and family. We live in such a microwave society though that if they haven’t heard from me (via email or phone) I get a call…arghhh! I do have a pen pal from Australia that I’ve written to since 4th grade (I’m now 50+). I have always encouraged (ok insisted) that my children send hand-written thank yous for gifts that they receive. I have sent b-day & wedding gifts and not received any form of acknowledgment that the gift was received. Frustrating! I hope that mothers and/or teachers would continue to promote this tradition as well. Great ideas in the comments.

Oh I so enjoyed reading your blog about writing letters! When I made scrapbooks for both my sons, their main request was "please,Mum, do it in your handwriting!", and also, my youngest son was married this year and for their engagement present, he asked for a binder of my favourite recipes, again, all in my own handwriting please Mum?!!

I was very pleased also, when at the wedding, my former husband came up to me and said" What is it with you Debbe? Everyone I meet from our old life is always saying" oh I just got a letter from Debbe, or "Oh I just got a postcard from Debbe, or a birthday card or whatever"…so he said to me " what the heck is it with you, do you keep in touch with EVERYBODY??!!"…and I quietly said "yes, if they are my friends, then they are my friends, whether I have moved a thousand miles away or not"….he also said ( while we were married) "when you die Debbe, there are going to be so many people coming up to me and saying ‘oh Debbe always sent the nicest littel notes and letters…"

So, in my mind, that is a lovely thing to be known for, a lovely thing to be remembered for…I cherish letters and notes. Whenever my fiancee and I are apart for a night, we always leave a little note tucked in the others suitcase or under their pillow…just a few lines to say that we love and care for each other, that we will be thinking of the other one while we are away….I was touched to put away some of his laundry the other day( he normally does it) and I found PILES of my little notes tucked into his underwear drawer that I had written to him….

I love nice stationery, and spritzing my nice Irish perfume over the pages, using peacock blue ink in my pen, tucking in little articles or a recipe or a pressed flower or a photo and sending it off to my former mother-in-law ( a lovely, lovely woman), or to a friend who has lost her job, or just to say ‘hey, I am thinking of you"…long may letters live and thrive!!

I adore emails and my computer but I would die without my little box of nice cards and pretty stickers and such…it only takes a few moments and it means so much!!

Thanks for this lovely blog…

Warm wishes from northern Ontario, Canada
Debbe

I am so glad to see that I am not the only outcast of email society. I love to write and rcv. letters. If you enjoy writing letters, I strongly recommend using a dipping fountain pen. It forces one to slow down when writing, just what we all need to do once in a while. Also, the words look so much more sincere in "real" ink. Give it a whirl ~ enjoy!

I think you are right, that most people have stopped exchanging letters. I exchange letters with my Granny who is 88 and with a family friend who turned 99 last Friday. These Ladies don’t have computers and hearing on the phone is sometimes a challeng, so letters are good. I’ve tried to get my neice and nephew to start as well, but they seem to be too busy to sit down and do it.
I wish more people wrote, it’s always exciting to get a letter in the mail and seems more personal than email.

Oh, how I miss writing letters. Email stinks but a modern day necessity. I bought my Gram stationary for Christmas every year as she was a great letter writer – not only with U.S. friends and family, but overseas too. I had penpals for years. I also miss Christmas/Holiday cards. I remember them hanging from huge ribbons on our fireplace mantel and across the archway between our livingroom and diningroom. One year, we received over 100 cards. Mom and my Gram would cut them into hexagons, crochet trim around two cards glued together – sometimes with plastic to protect the cards, and then sewing the pieces together to make baskets. And perfumed stationary – heady scents. My handwriting isn’t all that great, but I’d love to bring back exchanging letters instead of emails – although I cherish them too. Thanks so much Rene for wriggling my memories!!!

Rene,

Just like you, I used to send all of my letters with a fragrant of my most favorite perfume as a personnel touch. Every morning, my Mother-In-Law would write letters to her relatives and friends with so much joy and looking forward to opening the mailbox to see a reply. She would get so many responses which made her day a happy one. Now, her mailbox is empty. No one sends letters anymore. Thanks for the memories of keeping in touch with treasured letters.

My mother-in-law and I were just commenting on the "lost art" of letter writing. I still like to pick out pretty stationary and write a friend that I haven’t seen in a while and "surprise" her with an actual handwritten letter. Nothing can compare with a personalized letter written just for you. It means that the person sending it actually took the time to pick out which paper to use and write with their very best handwriting their own personalized thoughts. Reading this blog, I say there’s still plenty of us around to keep this art alive!

I too love letters! We have some from my husbands family, written in the 1800’s. The ones that really get me are the condolence letters, They are sooo morbid, i.e. "the chair he will no longer sit in, the hall he will no longer walk down …. Can’t imagine getting a letter like that. But the old letters are so great to have.

Hey Rene’, I too have always been a letter writer. My husband and friends have received letters from me when we have had a misunderstanding or I felt they needed encouragement. My letters are never unkind. I’m just better at writing how I feel instead of saying it. It has become sort of a joke among those who know me. "Oh, you have received one of Suzy’s letters",with a chuckle. I also write cards and letters to our oldest daughter in California, she also sends beautiful cards that have been selected with much thought. I remember reading a quote saying they hope technology never excedes humanity.( Not sure exactly how it went , but you get the idea)I agree 100 %. Love to all, Suzy ( Texas)

I’ve always enjoyed writing…most of my friends dont write back any longer, since the internet. I have written poetry,however, by hand since I took a literature class 10 yrs ago. Days when I enjoy the outdoors the most, the words come to me. I worked at a retirement home at that time, and would read my poetry to the folks at the home, after lunch. They seemed to really enjoy it, as did the owners, my bosses. These poems I will leave to my children & grandbabies someday. I also have a large collection of old letters from siblings & friends….even a few from my gram written in the 1970’s before she passed away in 1978. The letters from my siblings tell of their new babies born in the 70’s….and they now have babies of their own…I think letter writing is not "dead", but just slowing down ….I am also writing a novel….hopefully to publish sometime.

I have been talking about this very subject with my husband!
I would love to get a "snail mail" from any of you!
Linda Koetitz
PO Box 164
Paradise, UT
84328

I am so pleased that there are so many whom still enjoy a hearfelt written lett. I send out letters every week. I do not get many written replies. But I use this a a ministry to women in my life. Thank you for all of your comments.

Very Interesting!
Thank You!

Help I want off the wheel. I think that is might happen sooner than I wanted but I am dealing with that and it is okay. Thanks Rene for your insight. I want to be like my cat Tom. "You want me to do what?" He has learned the word "No"
Thank Rene
K

Boy have I been there-& tho I get off the wheel,I somehow find myself back on it! I’m doing my best to get off & stay off the darn thing,because I feel as tho I’ve wasted a few years here & there. Sleepwalking thru life is no way to live-and I think it’s a cue that we need to change how we’re living our lives. Take up a hobby,start hanging out with a different bunch,explore where you live for neat things to do.

By all means, we should all get off that main highway of life. After all it was engineered by total strangers and if you feel the need for a breath of fresh air get on that back road and take it all in.

I very much enjoyed your insights. Several years ago when I turned 50, if found myself in the midst of a not-uncommon time of reevaluation. "Going through the motions" would no longer be acceptable to me. I’ve gone back to school, am working on my degree at 61 and find that there is quite a marvelous life going on outside the wheel. I’m happy to be part of it and encourage other readers to take the leap and see what awaits them.

Thanks Peg, Sometime we just need to see that "the waters are fine" before jumping off…

Yep..the old west. For sure that is the time I would pick. I would love that era. I feel like most days I could give up modern conveniences easily…well, after my knee surgery and recovery time is over..haha. Really though, that has always been my dream too…and I agree with what you said about the Victorian Era…I don’t think I would do as well then..but the wild west..yep..thats the ticket!

Jenny,

Kindred spirits… there is just enough "rebel" in me that the women of the west seem to fit. Sorry about the knee surgery..

Hey Rene!! I am sitting here at my computer with the pouring rain outside and dreaming about my delicious days in Washington and Idaho! We have yet to have summer here in my portion of New York. However, I have been sleeping in my little TagALong and pretending that I am in the woods camping! Sick, huh??

I am glad that you get to enjoy summer on your side of this big country!

Carrie

PS–You mention granges…I never knew much about them, but went to private school in an old grange building! It was really cool. And the last couple of years I noticed that there are some active granges who put displays in our county fair. I guess they are not all gone!

Carrie~ Summer has sure hit here, reaching about 104 for the last week or so. I do uderstand that in some parts of the country Granges are still active. Wish it were true here.

And what about Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman?! Love that show (we recently watched the entire series on DVD)!

Loved her….. GOOD CALL!

Amen.

Oh Rene’,
so aptly put…"Where nature has a front row seat"….
luv it!
hugz,
>^..^<

Love this one Rene! Yes, I too sometimes think I would have liked being alive in another time period.. I do love the Victorian age and even had a Victorian Theme Wedding with the horse and buggy to boot! My hubby loves to try and convince me that I would not have enjoyed the lack of cleanliness and all that dust flying up from under the buggies wheels as we rolled along the countryside,but I am determined to keep my romantic notions about times gone by and even pine for them when I feel the need! We too are blessed to have a " get away from it all" kind of place. Ours is near the sea! Our very small and efficiant ( under 500sq feet) summer cottage is a three season solar powered little slice of heaven where we go to shed the " trappings of modern technolgy" each summer for a few weeks…Gradually our cell phones have become part of our summer scene due to aging parents and kids being more independent but everyone else and everything else MUST WAIT for us to return from vacation… REMEMBER THOSE? Vacations??? You have the right idea about " disconnecting" at certain times of day or night… I think that is about the healthiest thing I have heard on how to live well in these modern times since the invention of the world wide web!
Debbie

My first blog. Pretty exciting for a hick like me. I adore your references and the romantic side of the picture; however, I am way too practical and see the hardships that accompanied the picturesque views. I grew up on a ranch and recall taking turns waking up every two hours to tredge through the snow and check the stock. (At this point, don’t sniff or your nostrils will stick together.) I was once awaken by my mother saying, "Here, get this lamb in the oven. I have to go back out." Stress management included mucking out the barn. Work was measured by wheelbarrow loads. But as you say physical labor is great therapy by comparison to mental exhaustion. I think the main difference is the reward. With physical labor, there is an obvious reward whether it is a clean barn or a live lamb bouncing around in the cold April sunshine. I always say, "When I die, feed me to the coyotes. It’s one less calf they’ll eat." What I do before I die is more important. I now live in the mountains with my two kiddos, and yes I do have to deal with power outages in the winter and bears consolidating my fruit into neat little piles, but I wouldn’t trade it off. I love where I am. The mountain air is good for the soal.
Kudos – I so appreciate your blog and perspective.

I love this one Rene’, My hero as a child was Annie Oakley. I thought she was so cool.I always loved horses and owned two growing up. I remember fantasizing I was living back in the western days.Now days I spend alot of time thinking how I’ll put another garden in here or there. I also have a favorite spot to kick back on my porch and watch the sun rise. On the other side of the house, on the deck ,I can watch the sun set. Does it get any better than that ? I have to say that secluded cabin does sound great, too.
My friend and I were talking the other day about how we think it is important to teach our chldren and grand childen how to grow their own food and how to preserve it. Bless my little grandaughter’s heart , she got so upset when her brother told her hamburger meat came from cows. She did not want to believe it.I distracted her by taking her to the garden where she tasted a fresh raw pea and all was forgotten.Living in the country can be hard work now days , but I know it was alot rougher back then. Still, it would be fun to go back in time for a day.( as long as I wasn’t put on scrub board duty) Love to all, Suzy (Texas)

I’m new to your blog and love it already, a women after my own heart. Sometimes I feel displaced between the modern world I use on an increasing basis and the simpler times I enjoyed growing up in rural southern Illinois. I didn’t have a cabin in the mountains but instead our family’s retreat was a cabin on Kentucky lake. Originally it didn’t have the conveniences of air conditioning or even indoor plumbing at one point. My Aunt Kathy would make fritters for breakfast, at night we’d roast marshmellows over the camp fire from twigs forged in the woods and then would go to sleep, one room for the adults and one for the kids. At times there would be a good ten to fifteen of us cousins bunked high and low in the cabin. Some of my best childhood memories are from there. Years later, I’ve learned how to find that place in my heart everyday, where I can go there when I need to. Sometimes it is through the magic of a good book, sometimes a movie will remind me, other times my mind will just find it’s own way. Today however your blog brought me back there. Thanks! It’s fun to find out who you are between the best of all times.

I love MaryJanes Farm magazine and the entire concept of connecting with the feel of the earth and elements around us no matter where we live. Even though I am a "Urban Girl" I am a farmgirl in my heart! I have been reading the blogs about being in another era. So often I have felt the pull of the early days of our countries development. Such as the wagons trains traveling across country. They needed to use every bit of there skills and energy to make it though each day. Even though it was very hard they still knew how to enjoy the world around them. I try every day to touch the earth and enjoy the beauty of the world around me. Thanks for helping me feel good about where I am.

I have always loved funny signs & I think this one of yours is about the best ever! One that I loved growing up here by the ocean, was in Cardiff-by-the-Sea, CA. For the longest time it said "Surfboard Upholstery shop" – Well, it really was two shops a surfboard shop and an upholstery shop but the sign was unclear and amusing…So, I always looked out at the surf for chintz padded boards hanging ten! Another sign I loved in Valley Center, Ca says "Fresh Eggs Shoe Repair". Gosh, I didn’t know eggs had feet! let alone needed their shoes repaired…

There were a couple of signs in our "neighborhood" that I really wish I had snapped a photo of. One said "turn hear". And the other, a sign for the church where my husband was associate pastor for a time…..EVE Worship 6 pm. I think that may have been part of the issues with the church 😉 LOL!
Your posts are always a day brightener, thank you!
Blessings,
Catherine…..who really doesn’t wish that some people came equipped with their own sign…it would make life so much simpler! 🙂

Catherine~ Your "eve worship" cracks me up~

There is the cutest sign on the side of the road in Oregon, Ohio. Has a chicken painted on it and says "Cackleberries for sale" Eggs, get it?
It is so cute I am going to embroider it on a tea towel.

In Washington state we came across a roadside stand that had a sign with an eagle on it, he didn’t look so good, underneath it said Ill Eagle Fireworks….Illegal fireworks, get it? I’m still kicking myself for not taking a picture!

I love not only signs, but sayings as well.
My favorite sign that I saw on a Church said "I wish I was half the man my dog thinks I am."
My favorite saying, (sorry, I have no idea who wrote it) says:
"I know you think you understand what you thought I said, but I’m not so sure that what you heard is what I meant."

I took my first personal loans when I was 20 and that helped me very much. However, I need the commercial loan as well.

Wow~ We sure are kindred spirits…..My wake-up call was hypothyroid disease with a side dish of breast and cervical biopsy! No Cancer as of yet and I want to keep it that way! At age 46 next month, I have mulled the Holistic Dr. School for several years myself. If only I had known about the subject in my 20s. But then again, if I live to be 97 like my great granny, I am just getting started! I too would like to be mainly raw. I tend to do the "Cave Man" diet of fruits, veggies, nuts and a small amount of meat. You are actually not supposed to eat grains or dairy but I am not that dedicated…YET! I have read that man did not start to eat farmed grains till the last thousand years and our bodies are not made to digest the protiens very well…..especially wheat. (Is hubby still in the wheat biz?) While doing my own research, I discovered that people who eliminate wheat from their diets have less arthritis discomfort which I have found to be VERY true for me. Giving up most breads etc…was hard, but once you are several months into going without it, it is not such a big deal. It sure makes a difference in your waistline!! I do still love me some oatmeal and eat a lot of nuts. I sure wish everyone would have the "Ah Ha" moment we have had when discovering this way of eating! I would love to have you pop over to my blog and on the bottom of the left side bar in the post subjects I have a lot of the info I have shared in the past including my Lemon/Master cleanse experience. I wish you well on your path!!
Blessings~LillySue
apeaceofbliss.blogspot.com

What an exciting post. My SIL had breast cancer 11/2 years ago and opted for a 100% raw diet instead of chemo. She is doing amazing. I know she did a TONNE of research before coming to her conclusion. She still sought her Dr’s advice and council, but ultimately it was her choice.

Thank you for a great post. It’s time I too revisit a more raw diet.

Boy Connie~ My thoughts are with your sister ~ I personally beleive in "intergrative" medicine with a team of professionals. I had a brillliant Dr and a compounding pharmasist who helped me peel back the meds…. I also had the holistic experts…. The key, I believe, is to be 100% engaged in your own health and then using whatever makes the most sense to you in your bodies healing.  I am forever grateful for the teachers that continually show up for me to learn from. R

This could not have come at a better time. I have just been diagnosed with fibromyalgia after living with pain, fatigue, and many other symptoms since approximately 2007. I want to treat it through diet and exercise, leaving the pharmacy out of the equation as much as possible. I have in the past explored an Ayurvedic approach to eating to help with stress migraines. While I felt great, it was very hard to find many of the foods recommended which limited the foods I should eat to a handful. I live in a small, predominately rural area. It is hard to get some of the more uncommon things found in Ayurveda, which is an ancient healing system from India. Anyway, raw veggies I can get. So I have started researching the type of foods that would be best for FMS. Reading your testimony was very helpful. It is good to hear how the raw foods diet can help even if it is not followed 100%! Thank you!

Hello friend, I’ve been reading your blogs for some time and enjoy them. Sorry it has taken me so long to respond. But today with your blog you mentioned some things that hit home.

"It is like “weeding out” an old, dysfunctional friend—hard to do, yet I know that it will make room for more positive things, which of course includes better health."

That is a great sentence. There is so much there to deal with and I’m right there with you with my own dysfunctional friends. Keep up the good thoughts

Doreen

I’d like to comment on a product which has been helpful to me. I had been on medication for hypertension (high blood pressure), and also had elevated cholesterol. While at a health food co-op, purchased ‘Nattokinase’, NOW brand. I was familiar with Natto, which is a fermented soy product popular in Japan. After taking one capsule per day, in one week my blood pressure had dropped so much, the Nurse Practitioner at the Women’s Wellness Clinic told me to stop the blood pressure medication. A lab test taken a month after starting the product showed my Cholesterol level had dropped 30 points.
A younger friend of mine has hypertension; she walks, exercises and eats a healthy diet. After introducing her to Nattokinase, which she has been taking for a month now, she has also experienced a significant decrease in blood pressure, and able to decrease medication, hoping to discontinue it soon.
Elaine, RN

Way to go girlfriend. The more we can stay away from medical doctors and search out alternative methods of healing ourselves the better we will all be. About 4 months ago I happened across Kevin Trudeau’s book Natural Cures They Don’t Want You to Know About at our local thrift store. What an eye opener his book was. I won’t go into detail about it but I recommend this book to anyone searching on alternative healing or just wanting to eat right. You can find his book on Amazon.com for quite a reasonable price. If you do a search on the internet you will find a lot of negative about him and how he has been in jail and sued. Please don’t let this stop you from reading this book as you will understand why he has been jailed and sued. He recommends you read from page 1 through the rest of the book and not skip around. Please let me know if you read this book and what you think. Thanks

I have read this book and  countless others. I really recommend that people read as much as they can about ways to be more informed on taking control of our own health. It is a learning curve for sure, but we are worth it.

I was just reading all the comments and am so excited that more and more people are finding ways to be in control of their own health. Raw has the enzymes to heal what is wrong with you. I just have to say eat as much raw as you can-the sicker you are the more raw you should be. You CAN all heal yourself.

Another great story Rene’, I love how your writings put pictures in my head , you don’t need photos. I have always loved music that does the same. (also a big Michael McDonald fan from way back). We were finally able last fall to build a 50 by 30 foot barn. It has become the favorite spot for all our family and friends get togethers this summer. Even when it rains it’s fun to be in. We hosted a family reunion this summer and many wrote thank you notes saying how our place was a little piece of heaven.We cooked out, and I agree food just tastes better outdoors.Keep those great stories coming. Love to all, Suzy (Texas)

Ah Summer! Here in the ‘Great White North’ summer is like a beacon that draws us all into the outdoors just as soon as the snowbanks thaw,and keeps us out there well after the first frost.I agree, food is so much better when it is picked fresh and eaten outdoors.There is nothing that elevates the lowly hot dog like cooking it outside over an open fire, and if the onions are from the garden and the relish is home-made from last years’ garden, so much the better!
I know I intend to enjoy every sparkling moment of summer,I know you will too.
Elaine
Canada

Summer is my favorite season also. I love to bbq, do that more than cooking in the house in the summer time. And sitting outside and reading and listening to all the chatter of the birds.