What Will You Leave Behind?

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Two weeks ago, I lost my precious Dad.  I really am struggling to process that he is gone; even though we’ve known for the last month that the end was near.  I’m here in New Mexico with my Momma for a few weeks at the home place where I was raised, and I’m so thankful for the time together.

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Mom and Dad in front of the old adobe ranch house

We had the funeral just a few miles from the Ranch where my mother was born and raised and where, since my Dad retired 35 years ago, he and Mom have spent several days each week ranching and relaxing in the old adobe house that my mother was raised in.  It was a beautiful funeral, all of it outside with the mountains in the distance.  It was a hot day, but the men set up canopies with 150 chairs underneath, so everyone had shade.  It was so perfect.  I really have no words to describe what it meant to all of us to be there in the dusty New Mexico ranch land that he loved so much.

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One of the cards mom received this week

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I have so many things I want to share about Dad.  But today in this blog post I’d like to ask you a question:

What do you want to leave behind when your life on this earth is over? 

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Do you want to be remembered for your great accomplishments?  For an amazing sense of humor?  For wealth or possessions?  Maybe an incredible life-long career?

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As my Mom and I sit outside off and on throughout the days these last two weeks, we have this conversation and ask ourselves this question.   My Dad was an incredible man.  He had so many redeeming qualities that all of us in the family love to share and talk about.  And Dad would never want us to sit and discuss all his amazing qualities because humble could’ve been his middle name!

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But here is the thing.  Every card we’ve received in the last two weeks (SO MANY CARDS) and every conversation with people that call, stop in to visit, or were at the funeral and dinner afterwards have mentioned a constant word in sharing their memories of Dad.  Every.single.time.

That word is KIND

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This is obviously no surprise to me of my siblings.  We knew the kindness of our Dad.  We felt it our entire life, we witnessed it in how he treated our mother and how he treated others.  But to hear that word over and over and over… we are in awe of the fact that literally EVERYONE not only felt kindness from our Dad, but it hugely impacted their lives.

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He knew how to hold his ground if something wasn’t honest or upright.  He raised us kids with firm discipline, but incredible kindness in that discipline.  He stood for truth always.  He taught us amazing values, work ethics and honesty.  He was never, ever afraid to stand for what was right.  But in it all, kindness was key.

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So, the question comes to me so many times throughout the day, usually followed by tears.

“What will I leave behind”?

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If there is one word that others will say about me, what would I want it to be?  I want to learn from my dear sweet Daddy, what kindness really means.  Sometimes it is going to mean being kind in hard experiences, standing true for what I believe is right, holding steady an example of faith, always in kindness.   I want to dig deep inside my soul where I know kindness dwells and let it become the thing that I leave behind.

My Dad gave the best hugs

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And he had the absolute best smile!

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So… dear farmgirl friends, tell me.  What will you leave behind?  Please share by leaving me a comment!  After thinking on this for so many days, I’m eager to hear what your thoughts are!

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My sweet Mom and Dad about six months ago. 

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Oh how I miss my Dad.

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Until our gravel roads cross again… so long.

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Dori