Grief… It’s Hard

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Hello farmgirl friends!

This is a hard post for me to write, but somehow I think it will be a post that we can all relate to… and encourage each other in.

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Ten days ago, I lost a very dear friend of mine to a tragic car accident.  Death is something that we are never prepared for; but when it comes so suddenly in a sobbing phone call from her daughter, Sarah, then it is almost impossible to grasp.  Today I’d like to tell you about my friend Patti.

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Patti had a BIG HEART  

There was absolutely NO ONE she did not love.  And I mean that with every fiber of my being.  It did not matter what your status in life was, or who you were.  She loved you.  She never judged anyone by the situation they were in or decisions they had made (good or bad); she just loved you.

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Patti knew the POWER OF LOVE

Her father died when she was six and her mother wasn’t very present in her life.  Patti told us once that she never heard the words “I love you” until she was an adult.  I think that might be why she loved so deeply.  She knew firsthand the power of love.

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Patti loved ADVENTURE

She was an incredibly adventurous lady!  We called her an “old hippie” (she really was!!) and she was absolutely game for anything, even spur of the moment.  And I loved that about her.  If there was a friend in need, she would jump in her car and drive to them.  It didn’t matter if it was hundreds of miles away.  If you called and wanted to go kayaking, she was immediately game!  It didn’t matter the adventure; she was all in for it!

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Patti knew HOW TO BE A FRIEND

She had friends all over the world.   And I mean that with all seriousness.  She impacted lives far and wide.  When you were Patti’s friend you were guaranteed a friend for life.

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Patti PRAYED

She truly knew the struggles of the heart of all mankind and there was no one she didn’t remember in prayer.  She cherished the time she spent praying.

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Patti LOVED ANIMALS

She never went anywhere without her sweet dog. (He survived the car accident and after some trauma, he is now doing well with Patti’s husband Keith!)  Her daughter and son in law have goats and sheep and Patti loved the babies; she would stay up all night caring for a little lamb or kid in need.  I had a text from her daughter yesterday and she was telling me about a Ewe sheep that is sick right now and she said, “What’s hard is that if Mom was alive she would be here sleeping in the barn and never letting this Ewe out of her sight”.  And Patti would’ve; that was how she was.

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Patti was FUNNY

I was one of the lucky ones that lived 20 minutes from her.  So I saw her twice a week on average.  Her joyous laughter was a constant in my life.  We could laugh until our sides hurt.  It’s not often that you find someone that you can laugh with to that degree!  She could laugh at herself like not one I’ve ever known before!  The stories we all share of her funny experiences are ones that I cherish so much.

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Patti was an ENCOURAGER

It didn’t matter if everything was falling apart, she had the right words to encourage.  My daughter told me that she plans to write down all the texts that Patti sent her… they were always encouraging, always loving, always cheerful.

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Patti was a CHILD AT HEART

She didn’t have grand-children yet and she loved mine as if they were hers too.  Often when she was driving by my daughters house on the way to see her daughter, she would stop and see the girls.  It was not uncommon for her to jump in the pool with them in all her clothes! They considered her their best friend; and she was.

 

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I miss her.  Every day in the 10 days that she has been gone, I’ve picked up my phone to call her to tell her something funny or to see what she’s doing.  And then I remember she is gone.  And I want to call her and tell her how desperately I miss her.  And that I don’t think I’ll ever be the same without her.  But then I hear her saying to me; “Dori, you will be fine.  Trust me.”  And I do.

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Thank you friends, for always listening to the thoughts in my heart!

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Until our gravel roads cross again… so long.

Dori

  1. So sorry for the loss of your dear friend. She sounds like a wonderful person and will be missed by a lot of people. God bless you.

  2. Mildred Squyres says:

    So sorry to hear of your friend’s death. I would have loved to have known her she sounds like a very good friend to have.

  3. Donna Rowe says:

    So very sorry. It sounds like a friend we all have and need to contact more often while we still have time. Oh how precious your memories are! Thank you for sharing her wonderful life!

  4. Regina says:

    So sorry for your loss..I got a lump in my throat and tears are begging to released..she sounds so much like a person who was “refined by fire and emerged as gold”. How I would have loved knowing her, and asked her “how to do life” questions! But then again…she would very likely only point me to the One who helped her deal with issues….

  5. Charlotte Briggs says:

    So sorry for your loss. I recently was also in an automobile accident and almost didn’t make it so this really hit home. I now have what is called TBI. I spent 2 1/2 months in rehabilitation hospital and am truly grateful for all their help. I will never be the same but god blessed me to still be here on this earth

  6. Dori I am so sorry. Be gentle and kind with yourself and others. Keep Patti close in your heart. Prayers and hugs

  7. Cori Zabrodsky says:

    Thank you for this beautiful message about a beautiful person who touched lives in such a beautiful way! Praise the Lord for the blessing of your dear friend.

  8. Renise Rosenboom says:

    So thankful that you shared your friend with me today.

  9. Dori, thank you for sharing….You were blessed to have such a friend in your life & she was blessed to have a friend such as you…..Great friendships are to be treasured. Be thankful for the beautiful memories you have….I know you will be smiling each time you remember all the good times you spent together….Again, thank you for sharing….francine from Boise Idaho

  10. Lauri says:

    I lost my big brother on New Years Eve 12/31/20 . He had ALS and decided early on to.let the disease take its course. He was a big man with a big presence in this world with 3 kids, a wife, 2 grandchildren and hundreds of friends around the world.
    He was the definition of a Big Brother..always my protector and always there to listen and guide me. I miss him every day; I still talk to him and I have his ashes in a tattoo on my arm. He told me he would always be with me …and he is. He told me that life goes on and I should enjoy every minute..and I do. Hugs and love to you and to everyone who has lost someone. They are with us always.

  11. Angie says:

    Thank you so much for sharing. I needed this

  12. Beverly Posey says:

    So sorry for your loss and pain. Losses like this reinforce what a gift time is and to give it freely to those you love. I do not want my loved ones to spend a dime ON me but I’ll take every moment they can spend WITH me. Praying for comfort for you. Remember those times spent with your friend and the joy it gave you.

  13. Sandra Knauf says:

    This tribute is so beautiful. May we all be so loved!
    Wishing all who loved Patti heart-felt condolences and love as they deal with this loss.

  14. Sharon Schneider says:

    Dori,
    Sorry for your loss – as you conveyed she was a dear friend, and will be missed. I truly believe you can find some peace in knowing that she is now with you daily, and everywhere you go, in spirit. Look for signs, and be comforted in that you will see her again someday.

  15. Patricia L Power says:

    I’ve lost too many very close and long-time friends and family in the past eighteen months, and my life is far lonelier now. It will never be the same, but you and I are here. And the people who loved us and whom we loved would want us to take in the colors of sunrise and breathe the crisp October morning’s air with relish….because they can’t. And through our memories, we will endure, and part of them will too. Be good. Be kind. And be thankful for what we’ve known in this lifetime.

  16. Pamela C says:

    So very sorry for your Loss. May she Rest In Peace.

  17. Tamara johnson says:

    I’m truly sorry for your loss, loss is very hard, I lost my husband 12 years ago, my dad last year and my puppy hero of 14 years 4 months ago! Just know that the pain never leaves but you do find comfort!! Gods grace is the most amazing <3

  18. Sandra Gold says:

    A beautiful loving tribute! You were so blessed to have a special friend who will live forever in your memory.

  19. Rebecca Cook says:

    You wrote an absolutely beautiful tribute to your friend. So sorry for your loss.

  20. Karen Holderman says:

    I am so sorry you have lost such a wonderful friend. What a blessing to have had such a friend. She will be in you heart forever. You. her family and other friends are in my prayers.

  21. Lisa says:

    Your so kind to share the preciousness of your dear friend, Patti. She exemplified what I have tried to convey to others: your past influences but does not determine your behavior. She rose above the sadness and was a bright light for one and all. None of know when our words could be our last words so we must be certain to let them be kind.
    Thank you again for sharing, you and those who are grieving will be covered in prayer.

  22. Patti says:

    I’m so very sorry …

  23. Jensy Gregory says:

    Dearest Dori, Thank you for your courage in sharing a very hard message that all of us will relate to if we have not already lived through this valley of grief. Patti sounds so amazing and your friendship was a bond of love much like sisters. I pray that you will be comforted by the peace of God that surpasses all problems and fears and loss in our lives that we experience.
    I’m sure Patti is saying to you now, “Dori, I’m just a whisper of prayer away.” In Him, Jensy

  24. OH! MY! THE BEST WOMAN that was such a DEAR FRIEND!!! The sharing was the BEST and the pictures too!!! Having a friend like that is hard to find!!! They can make life so much sweeter and the LOSS of your Dear Friend touched my HEART! I can cry with you, CRYING can clean us up to move forward, and knowing how much THEY loved us!!! YOU know death is not the end………She is always with you and cheering you on! YOU will see her again! God Bless you and I see all the love from others that FEEL your loss!!! LOVE IS FOREVER!!! Love, Laurie P. ;-))) (Norco, Calif.)

  25. Leslie Anne says:

    Dear Dori, Your friend Patti sounds like a very life supporting and beautiful
    person even in her later times. She really does glow in her pictures. I send
    you a lot of emotional support. My mother was a terrific mother and rescued me
    many times. She passed away about 2014. Later there was the trauma of clearing
    her house which had to be up for sale. It sold and her paperwork from her files and clothes and furniture have been in storage.
    The first year of missing someone is the hardest and not predictable. I decided that I should do something
    that she would be most happy about. So I have and feel less pressure about her.
    I hope this is hopeful. best wishes for you and yours.

  26. Joyce Lyster says:

    What a beautiful tribute to your precious friend. Hugs and love to you.

  27. Shirley says:

    Sweet Dori praying for you as you grieve the lose of your dearest friend!

  28. Chris Alred says:

    I am so very, very sorry about the loss of your dear friend. May you and her family find comfort in knowing that she is with our Lord and Savior. I heard a quote the other day on tv from Richard Petty who had lost his son, “Never put a question mark where God has put a period.” The quote was sent to him from someone he never met and it helped him and it helped me. We lost our sweet 35 year old daughter in love in 2018 in a car accident and I had so many times said why……she was a wonderful Christian girl also. Hugs to you all~

  29. It makes me sad I didn’t get to know her! That was a beautiful tribute. So sorry for your loss! I lost a dear friend recently, also, so my heart goes out to you, and her family and friends.
    What a beautiful person she was and what a lovely life she lived.
    Prayers for comfort.

  30. Jennie Bishop-Mueller says:

    I am so sorry for the sudden loss of your Friend. She sounds like a light to the world.
    She will definitely shine on. My dad passed away September 19th after being in the hospital since July 30th. I keep thinking of things I would tell him or see something we would have gone to as a family and my heart hurts, but it makes the memories so much more important. My heart goes out to you. Many hugs!

  31. CAROL LYNNE PENTA says:

    Dori,
    I am so sorry for your tragic loss. Although I did not know Patti it is with tear filled eyes that I write this message. Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful friend with all of us. Through your tribute I feel as though I too have had the privilege of knowing this beautiful person that shared this earth with me. Patti’s legacy is leaving this world a kinder more beautiful place.

  32. Patricia Murphy says:

    I am so truly sorry for your loss – for her family losing such a treasure. Like so many folks you are going to hear from, I’ve lost my two best and oldest friends within the past few years and I miss them so much. We carry on because we know they would want us to but there is no way to lessen our feeling of sorrow and loss. Please know that prayers for everyone involved are flowing from here.

  33. Lisa Wilson says:

    So sorry Dori. What a wonderful friend you had in your life!
    I’ll pray for comfort for all of those she loved and who will greatly miss her.
    Lisa

  34. Marilyn says:

    So sorry for your loss. Patti sounds like such a special person. You are so blessed to have had her in your life. Hope you and your family can find comfort and peace in your cherished memories of Patti. Will keep you and yours in our prayers and thoughts. God Bless.
    Joan,Marion and Marilyn

  35. Colleen says:

    Prayers for you to find peace. It sounds like she had God’s Peace in her heart, and it overflowed on anybody in her presence. She sounds like a wonderful soul.

  36. Brenda says:

    Lifting you up in prayer . Thank you for sharing & letting us meet Patti too! Hang on to those precious memories.

  37. Amy Boubel Holmes says:

    I’m so very sorry to hear this sad news. I’ve lost people that special to me before so I have an idea of the pain you are in right now. Time does change things a bit, but you will always miss her. That’s how big of an impact she had on your life and your heart. Prayers to you and all that Loved her.

  38. PHYLLIS ANNE HERNANDEZ says:

    What a beautiful way to share the stories of your friend. She will always be in your heart and memories, may the healing start with all the sharing. Warm wishes, Phyllis

  39. Lyn michiels says:

    So sorry for the loss you are experiencing. She sounds like a person I would have liked to have had in my life. What a gift she was. She should never be forgotten, and probably will never be. Blessings to you

  40. Rebecca Gossett says:

    My deepest sympathies for your loss of your close friend. I pray that you will find comfort by remembering all the sweet memories you have during the years you enjoyed with her.

  41. Carlynne A Wright says:

    Thank you for that wonderful remembrance of your friend. We all hope we have the same impact with our lives.
    You will see and feel her in the wind and the people she loved.
    thank you again for sharing.

  42. What a great tribute to a exceptional friend. Heaven is lucky to have her to share her love.

  43. Donna Presley says:

    Dear Dori- I heart hurts for you, her family and all the lives she touched. What an amazing woman, and such a dear friend to you. I’m grieving with you and praying for comfort.

  44. Vickie says:

    Thank you so much for sharing these thoughts….

  45. Katy Sheeran says:

    When the wind blows in directions unknown to us we feel at a loss. Patti was an exceptional person because that was who she chose in life to be. We are given one life to live and how we share it with others is a blessing to be shared. In body yes she is gone but in spirit she is and will always be in your heart. The stories you tell the times you remember Patti she is still here. In the times of great loss I find it a comfort to still talk and laugh with them. They are only a moment away from us. Find comfort in the love you had for her and Thank God that you were blessed with this special friend. My heart and prayers go to you and her family.

  46. Eve Hurt says:

    I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. Thank you for sharing the beautiful memories you have of her. It’s really difficult to lose a loved one, especially so unexpectedly. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

  47. Karen Gay Howard says:

    I can so identify with you – i lost my BFF on 9-11-2021 after only a week of awareness of how serious the illness was. Altho i live in Missouri and she in Georgia, the last 7 yrs i called her every night. we would talk for hours. then it got shorter. then only 2 minutes but always ending with us both saying “i love you”. I should have known…..Oh how i miss her wisdom, and acceptance of me altho completely opposite from her. I will never take for granted again the friendship of anyone, no matter how short the time i’ve known them. Thank you for sharing…..

  48. So sorry for your loss. She sounds like she was s wonderful fun friend.

  49. Maritza SCHWINDT (MITZI) says:

    Thank you for sharing your friend with all of us. I am so sorry for your loss and that of her family.
    May GODS Blessings continue to be yours as you continue to share them with us.

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